The Perch I Stand On
by EmilyDoreen
Summary: Just when Bombalurina and Tugger receive the happiest news they could, a tragic incident causes Tugger to become disfigured for life. Will they manage to get through the emotional and physical damage whilst staying in love, especially with kittens on the way? Tugger/Bomba
1. The Pearch I Stand On

**Hello, lovelies! I have a new CATS fanfiction for you (finally!).. I'm so sorry this isn't sooner I got taken seriously ill in Summer unexpectedly and needed emergency major surgery and it's taking months to recover from it. But it's going well, and I'm at college now too, and getting straight A's (I DON'T KNOW HOW) :')**

**Anyway, I missed the CATS fandom, so I am back! I missed you lot, seriously. :') **

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**On the off-set of this story, Bombalurina is twenty-five and has been mated to Tugger, twenty-six, for three years; they are trying for a litter, but it's been over a year with no results until this point.. **

* * *

**Chapter 1- The Perch I Stand On**

"Tugger, come on!" Laughed Bombalurina.

The pile of fur on the sleeping surface responded with a discontent moan. "No."

"I'm going to be late! Tugger-" The red queen moved over, "Tugger!" She shook his arm, "Rum Tum Tugger I implore you to get up now!"

He purred and stretched out further "But I'm _soo _relaxed-" A weight landed on top of him, "Bombalurina!"

Straddling his waist, the red queen grinned at him haughtily, reaching down and tracing his jaw; his smooth fur set in the most stunning colours she'd ever seen contrasting with those young lean auburn eyes, he was beautiful... She laughed at the mock-annoyance on his face "Get. Up."

Tugger groaned, "Jenny's going with you, not me. Why do you need me to-"

"The novelty!" She giggled, grabbing his paws as they tried to move her off him, "I'm surprised you're fighting me off, dear." She faced him with a knowing smile, "How rare of you."

Regarding her with a pout, Tugger remarked "It's too early!" And he ceased her waist, she frowned at him, "And, anyway, if you are-" He paused, "You _know," _Slowly, his paws traced the pattern of her fur until settling on her abdomen, her expression softened momentously to becoming sentimental, "Then let's be assured I'll have to be more careful with you. Rest assured, our sexual antics can't be too helpful to a growing litter." He cocked his eyebrow conceitedly.

The sentimentality vanished just as it had started.

Meeting eyes, they shared a small grin and giggle; since when could they actually manage being so mature? Probably never. Bast forbid the minds of their religious kittens being raised by the most sexual parents where every word uttered was almost-always-most-probably a euphemism would end up like.

_"Awesome, they will be!" Tugger had grinned on the day he had announced to his father and brother that him and Bombalurina were trying for kittens, "They will be positively, irretrievably, inconceivably awesome!" _

Bombalurina leant down and brushed her forehead slightly with Tugger's, oh how she adored his perfect face, "Oh, honey…" She began dreamily, "This is big… For us, you know? I have a really good feeling this time, in my gut."

"I know." He pouted, "Just like the three other times we've gone for these appointments and came back with nothing." Bored, he looked away.

_It takes time, my dear. _Rang Jenny's voice in the scarlet queen's head, making Bombalurina's expression drop at how he had almost lost hope.

Then, again… It _had_ been a year… Who could blame him? Those _awesome_ kitten's seemed to be a lost reality fading faster than possible.

"Tugger," Bombalurina began, frowning now, "It could be different this time, you know?"

Eloquently, the Maine Coon shrugged knowing that if he didn't back up his words she'd be eating his tail for breakfast, "And if it true this time it shall be wonderful… We agreed you go with Jenny and tell me when you come back. I would go with you but this is the fourth time; I'm not getting excited over this until we're certain, you know what happened the other times when they proved us wrong…" At his words, Bombalurina's ears dropped a little, and he smiled suddenly in reassurance, kissing her cheek as his smirk returned, "And if it's good news then you know I won't be allowed to be an arse for the following six weeks, so embrace this lazy version of me while you can."

Bombalurina rolled her eyes, however had she tied him down?

"Fine" She shrugged, before raising a quizzical eyebrow at him, smile reappearing, "Either way you're going to have to get up sooner or later."

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm being serious!" She laughed.

"It's seven. O'clock. In. The_ morning_! No one is up at this ungodly hour!"

Snidely, she moved her paws to his shoulders, "Really… Are you so sure about that?"

"Yes." Replied Tugger, affirming the eyes of a young kitten being scolded about bed time.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to see for yourself?" Bombalurina began to leisurely trace lines on his chest.

He smirked at her, "Absolutely."

Leaning down, she kissed him chastely once, twice, and then on the nose. "Fine, I give up."

"Hallelujah" Tugger droned sarcastically with a wild smirk on his face.

Rolling her eyes, she eased off him and proceeded through the nest fixing her collar around her neck easily.

Tugger turned on to his stomach, watching her. "Bomba?"

"Mm?" She mumbled absently, looking over the back of her shoulder.

"Bring me back a kitten or two for us this time, won't you?"

The tenderness in his voice was laced with his cheeky demeanor made her still; she smiled lightly, shyly, "I'll try, Baby."

Tugger blinked, he heard the doubt in her voice. With a small sigh he managed to drag himself out of bed- disregarding how messy his fur was- walking over to her radiating in the morning sun glowing from their den's exit.

He reached over for the bottom of Bombalurina's arms and then her sleek paws; He leaned close, and then hugged her tightly; she burrowed her head into the crevice of his neck. They stayed like this for a while, and they both felt the emotional strain teeming from their hearts and in to each other, that pain they rarely discussed…

The fear they may be infertile.

Tugger kissed her on the cheek as he moved his embrace away, they stayed close, and relenting in each other's breathing in the quiet.

"If you can't, if once again we're… Kitten-less," He whispered, their foreheads brushing together, "Then don't worry. You're more important to me than anything."

A small silence passed, "I love you, Tugger."

"I love you, too." Tugger murmured as he finally let go, nodding at her as a farewell and sauntering back to the sleeping surface, yawning as he did so and falling on the blankets messily with a small 'humph'.

Bombalurina smirked at him, before turning her head and leaving. One moment proclaiming love like an angel, the next procrastinating like a mardy teenager.

* * *

"Are you ready to go?" Jenny asked kindly from her place on the tyre when Bombalurina made her way outside, the late February morning sun blinded her, and she saw practical reflections of her from the Junk everywhere.

Seeing the queen scrunch her eyes, the Gumbie cat laughed, "Oh Dear, I know. With last night's rain and this morning's sun the Junkyard is practically crystallized garden."

Bombalurina regarded her with a smile, blinking a few times to adjust herself to the light. Jennyanydots had always been there for Bombalurina, and the red queen thought of her as a second mother. Years ago, when Bombalurina had been fifteen and Demeter newly thirteen they had been bought into the Junkyard as orphans, their mother and father having gone missing from their original Jellicle Pride in Hampton; Jenny and Skimble had been the two that had taken them in and reared them as their own from that point.

It had been easier for Bombalurina, she had always been the more sociable one, the older one; it was Demeter who'd taken a long time to adjust. But now, nine years later everything was normal, and they would never find themselves out of the London lifestyle.

The Jellicle tribe were high in the ranks and known for it, especially in London. Many regarded them as the 'feline celebrities' although none of that was _really true_. They just had an aristocratic and religious History, and when Bombalurina had gotten mated to Tugger three years beforehand, she had been bought straight into the top line, following Demeter who had mated Tugger's half-brother Munkustrap before her. However they didn't view themselves as anything but normal, they weren't royals and they didn't have much power. Simply a _history. _

Bombalurina laughed fondly, "How long do you think it'll take us to get down to the clinic?"

Jenny rose to her hind legs and began to wander over, "An hour-ish, like last time. I don't see why you just won't let me…"

"Jenny," Began Bombalurina smoothly, "You are like a mother to me, there is no way on Bast's earth I'm letting you near… _That _part of me." She grimaced at the image.

At the queen's small shudder, Jenny rolled her eyes "I know, I know, but you know I wouldn't be bothered. We're all the same."

Bombalurina smiled, "Shall we go?"

"Of course, dear."

As they headed off in a comfortable silence, Bombalurina found herself questioning everything: Her relationship with Tugger, the state of the tribe itself, and the old antagonizing thought of what her parents were doing if they were still living- a prospect she highly doubted now- Her stomach turned a little and she sighed, wondering that if she was pregnant what would Tugger be like as a parent?

Sure, he wanted this badly, and they had tried for well, a whole year now but would the real reality of it happening cause him to grow as a person or to shrink that? He was a confident tom with a broad demeanor which caused many of the queen's across the whole of Southern England to swoon mercifully, would being a father undermine those little things she loved him for, or would they only make them shine in a more graceful light?

Either way, she was sure in her decision. Bombalurina loved Tugger, even though some cats doubted it, and their relationship was one of the few things that kept her going with the emotional strain of her earlier life. She knew Tugger would never abandon a kitten in the way her own parent's had; and that bought great comfort to her heart.

Tugger was too loving to abandon anyone for anything, no matter what other people argued.

* * *

Later, Munkustrap sat upon the tyre, gazing at the Junkyard around him. On the ground, his daughter Jemima and many of the other Jellicle kitten's frolicked, smiles broad in pleasure and bodies loose, fully embodying the warm morning air. Feeling a shadow set behind him, he turned, "Ah, look who's finally awake!"

"Bombalurina woke me at seven, Munk, _seven!" _Explained Tugger dramatically.

Munkustrap laughed at his continuously melodramatic brother, "It astounds me how you can be so blind to the fact that cats actually do get up at that time!"

"A world at seven am is not a world I want to see."

Tugger took the seat opposite Munkustrap on the tyre, Munkustrap posture straight and concise, Tugger's laid back and aloof.

"So," Munkustrap began, "A little birdy told me Bombalurina has gone for the test this morning. This is the fourth time now, right?"

"Demeter told you then?" Tugger didn't look over.

Munk simply nodded.

With a small sigh, Tugger stretched, "She's really hopeful about it this time, and I just can't afford to be like that."

"Why not?"

"Because the past three times we thought she was pregnant, she hasn't been, and it does hurt. I just don't know if I can be put through it anymore." Munkustrap frowned at the rare seriousness that crossed his brother's tone, Tugger shrugged, "Don't look at me like that Munk you don't know; for Bast's sake you didn't even plan Jemima."

_"Keep your voice down!" _Munkustrap hissed vehemently, eyeing the said kitten only a few feet away. Tugger smirked, "It's not worth discussing when she's the biggest blessing I've got in my life with Dem too."

Tugger glowered, he wasn't helping.

Munkustrap sighed a little, "I do understand, Tug. Don't ever think that I don't, I really acknowledge how strong you and Bombalurina are… You've been put through the works, to say the least."

He was talking about the amount of cats who'd protested at the idea of them being a couple in the first place. The ones who thought they were together for the image, because they were both feisty, confident, and- for want of better word- arrogant characters. It seemed a dreadful idea; just a plea for public attention; even the Leaders of the Jellicle Church had disapproved at first. But they had managed.

When they had gotten mated there had been serious speculation that the intentions weren't of love either, and in retort Tugger made a very public speech proclaiming that his love was unconditional, and just because they were both upper-class and 'good-looking' didn't mean they should be stereotyped in such an ignorant way. No-one protested after that speech, and no one forgot it. It had been the day in which most cat's realized that he was so much more than he had previously let off; that he could act with the stern quality his father possessed, showing them that he was worthy of his title of Lord.

"Even if you and Bomba were infertile," Munkustrap explained uneasily, watching as Tugger's eyes sank for a moment, "I know you'd make it though it."

Tugger looked up at that and paused, eyes bearing into his brother as he took the Protector's words in; Then he smiled, "Yeah, Bombalurina and I can make it through anything."

"May Bast prove you wrong" quipped Munkustrap before the two brother's engaged in a chuckle.

"I'd like to see her try," Grinned Tugger, looking out on to the clearing, repeating his earlier words softer, as if to himself, just for that extra reassurance.

_"Bombalurina and I can make it through anything."_

* * *

**That Evening**

"We really should have gone back earlier, I feel really bad now."

"Nonsense, dear!" Exclaimed Jenny wildly.

They were walking back from the woods, mice and birds in their paws. After Bombalurina's appointment they had settled on watching some human street performers for a while in Covent Garden, before heading hunting, and then finally returning home. For February, the skies still darkened early, and it was nearly dusk and raining lightly.

"But I'm sure Tugger will be out of his mind now in wonder!" Responded Bombalurina, she shouldn't have delayed returning so long, her whole stomach twisted with excitement.

"What it your plan then for when you return?" Bomba looked over, confused, "I mean Dear, do you plan to blurt out the news straight away, or spend the whole night being sociable just to tease him further?"

"Oh, I couldn't do that! It's been too long, too long."

Jenny shook her head a little, smiling, "I did, with Etcetera and Electra. Remember I found out the day of the Jellicle Ball the year you arrived? I didn't see Skimble until it started, he kept asking me… But I made him wait for the entire thing to be over before telling him."

"He must have gone insane!"

"All I'm saying is, is that I've never seen a tom who's been dancing all his life to struggle so much over the Charleston. Surely you remember?"

"Hardly. You didn't tell me and Demeter until three days afterwards!"

The Gumbie cat chuckled, "We wanted to celebrate alone first. Anyway," She changed the subject, "How are you going to tell him?"

Oh- She hadn't even considered that. "Ah… Well we've waited a whole year for this, I just suppose I'll come out with it; Can't keep a good cat waiting, can I?"

"No I suppose not." There was a pause, and Jenny stopped, "Bombalurina, can I ask you something?"

The red queen's brow creased slightly, she wanted to keep moving, her fur would get sodden otherwise, "Go ahead."

Jenny swallowed apprehensively, "…Are you sure you can trust Tugger with... With this?"

There was a pause, the rain dropped on the foliage around them in its own twisted orchestration.

A mine was dropped. "...Excuse me?"

The Gumbie cat looked apologetic, "No! I don't mean, that came out wrong- Dear me, Bombalurina what I meant was-"Bombalurina raised her eyebrows up expectantly, already feeling her fur bristling, "Well, he's not exactly _reliable_."

Bombalurina chocked. Where the hell had this come from?

"Well, he's been openly capturing the hearts of our youngest cats, they pine over him endlessly and he enjoys it! And he's a grown tom, twice their age if not more than that-"

"Jenny, stop. What are you saying? Are you saying he's a… A pervert?" Her tone turned hateful, her eyes darkened.

The older cat gaped in horror, "No! I didn't… I didn't mean anything like _that! _Bast, no! He's just, well, immature, and it rubs off. I… I don't trust him. I know you love him, we all do, we also know he loves you… But, it just wouldn't surprise me if-"

"If what?" Spat Bombalurina lucidly.

"If, eventually, with the pregnancy and everything… That he found affection in someone else."

"You believe he's capable of an affair?"

Jenny shrugged her shoulders a little, muttering a small "Yes." Bombalurina clenched her jaw, no longer caring her fur was sodden. Her own mother- well,_ not_ her _real_ mother- Well… This changed everything. She couldn't call a queen mother who believed the love of her life was unfaithful in every single way. If it hadn't been for the rain, Jenny would have seen the tears escaping Bombalurina's eyes.

She dropped the food she'd hunted and it fell into a messy pile at their feet. Jenny appeared apologetic, she just had to tell her how she felt… How a majority of the tribe felt.

"I'm glad you feel that way."

She turned on her heels and raced off too quickly for Jenny to chase after her.

Suddenly, she turned, practically shaking with ferocity; her composure completely derailed "You know what?! I thought you supported us, all this 'Tugger is untrustworthy' crap is done out of the window! It went out of the window and into the gutter three years ago!"

"Bombalurina!"

"No! I am carrying his litter, mother! _His- Our litter! _How dare you accuse him of being unfaithful, he is the perch I stand on, he is my world and my breath, and we can survive anything. This was a good step; we've tried for so long for this, for Bast's sake do not try to turn the table on it! Tugger would never leave or abandon me and not our family either," Her paws rested on her flat stomach, "We will prove you wrong."

Finally, Jenny looked broken, she hadn't meant to sound so harsh, she hadn't meant to offend Bombalurina so much, she was just trying to look out for her. "Please, dear-"

"No… You've made your view very clear," Bombalurina swallowed, "...So I can't be your daughter anymore."

Finally, she left, completely this time. Jenny stood aimless in the woods for a moment, before shakily wiping her tear stricken eyes and starting to walk back to the Junkyard. Skimble could help her solve this… He always had the answer.

* * *

Bombalurina couldn't recall what happened.

One moment, she had run to the Junkyard in tears, wanting Tugger, _needing _Tugger.

The next he had embraced her in the clearing.

Then there was shouting.

_A deep roar sounded from the ground, the metal Junk began to clatter, an oncoming storm arose from the path. Closer, closer! Munkustrap's ears flattened into his head, screams shouted, "Everyone! Out of the way! Everyone out!" _

Next there had been a blur of lights, a car's headlights storming into the clearing.

_Jemima ran out into the clearing, "Daddy, please!" _

_Bombalurina dropped Tugger's grip running in the other direction and ran towards the kitten. The lights got brighter, so bright they burned. The sound got so loud it made her ears pop. She grabbed the kitten and froze as Jemima held her tight. Bombalurina looked up. _

_"Bomba!"_

She wanted to scream as she saw a bright flash of lights and the metallic material of an engine barrelling towards her and the strong paws grabbing at her arms pulling both her and Jemima with unbelievable strength out of the trajectory. For all she knew, she did scream.

Her vocal chords worked too slowly, like the molasses restrictions of a dream. She couldn't tell him to stop.

_BANG_

The feeling hit Bombalurina too slowly, spreading a coldness along the back of her neck that pulled her attention. She groaned and scrunched her eyes shut, why was everything so bright? And spinning… Why was the ground spinning beneath her body? She heard noises, calls and shouts from all directions.

"Bombalurina! Bomba- Are you okay?" Someone was shaking her arm forcefully.

Drearily, she forced her eyes open, groaning as the vision span around in a dark abyss that was still blinded by that burning light. Her arms slackened on whoever was holding her, "Bombalurina, can you hear me? Lass can you hear me- I think she's got a concussion!"

The accent… It was Skimble. Slowly the obscene blur began to make more sense.

"Father…"

"Oh lassie it's okay. Shh, it's going to be okay! Can I get a cloth over here, please?!"

She could just distinguish his orange fur, where his eyes and mouth were, everything hurt, "…What's happened…?"

"A car's just crashed into the clearing, you saved Jemima's life!"

"A car?... A human's car-"

Reality hit her like a bomb. "Tugger-"

Skimble's grip momentarily weakened, "Bomb-"

"Tugger!" Suddenly she could see, everything to bright and vivid, she stumbled to her feet and yelled out, pain ripped through her shin, spinning- Everything was spinning. "Tugger! Where are you?!"

She couldn't breathe. Everything was too fast. She ignored the cats around her, tears blurred her vision, she kept falling, she didn't notice Skimble coming to her side and helping her upright, she didn't notice Electra being attended too on the ground bleeding, she didn't notice Cassandra crying as she tried to revive Alonzo, her eyes fell upon a figure laid on its stomach a few feet away from the vehicle. Junk was everywhere, whole nests had been crushed, hers included. She didn't notice how many times she tripped over the metal obstacles. The figure wasn't moving.

"Tugger!"

Bombalurina went absolutely numb, her whole body trembling violently. She ran over, letting out yelps of agony and collapsed by the unmoving figure. "No, no, Baby, please no" She begged desperately. Skimble crouched by her side and settled his paws on her shoulders.

"Bombalurina… He's not… I'm so sorry" His voice cracked, "You've been out for a while..."

Everything stilled. "No… no!" Bombalurina reached for the Maine Coon's shoulder and tried to move him onto his back, only as she did a form of crimson formed around his head. She looked at her soaked paws in horror, beginning to sob helplessly, "Tugger!"

"Please, Bombalurina" Pleaded Skimble quietly; his broken voice sounded foreign to his own ears. "The car hit him, he was sent flying more than six feet…"

_He had pushed Bombalurina and Jemima out-of-the-way. He had paid the price. _

"You're going to be fine, Baby" Bombalurina cried, talking to Tugger with no avail, he couldn't hear her. She daren't move him, the puddle of blood surrounding the tom's face was getting deeper by the minute, "You're not gone, are you?" Her shaking hands sought for his pulse point… Nothing. "No Tugger, we beat everything. We get over everything!" She rested her head on his back , "No, Tugger don't leave me! Not now!"

Munkustrap, not looking injured ran over and knelt; he was crying, shaking; she'd never seen him cry before "Bombalurina, please, it's too late"

She didn't hear him, she kept talking to her betrothed "I'm carrying your litter, our kitten's… You can't, no, please, Tugger."

The silver tom froze, exchanging a look with Skimbleshanks and then back at the grieving queen. No… Surely, she couldn't be!

Bombalurina let out a cry of frustration, and then reached out for Tugger's pulse again, her hands were shaking so much she felt she couldn't function. "Don't you dare leave me," _Nothing_ "You bigot, stop it! Stop it! Stop!-"

_Thrum, thrum…_

Everything in her body stopped, and suddenly her paws didn't shake. She placed them in his pulse point firmer, more correct than before.

_Thrum, thrum, thrum…_

"…He's breathing."

Munkustrap stared at her helplessly, "Bomba, stop this. He's-" He couldn't finish the sentence.

_Thrum, thrum…_

"Oh Bast… He's breathing!" She reeled at the faintest feeling under her paws, "Good! Breathe for me, Tugger, for our family… _Breathe!"_

"Bombalurina!"

The red queen grabbed Munkustrap's arm, and pulled it to where hers had just been, holding it down with a strong grip until he felt it too.

_Thrum, thrum…._

Munkustrap recoiled, his eyes widening. Suddenly he leapt to his feet, addressing the whole tribe "He's breathing! We need to get him help! Please! He's breathing… Tugger's alive! He's alive!"

The Jellicle's able stared, and then jumped into a flourish of action.

Bombalurina rested her head on his back, sobbing into his fur and listening to the ragged weak heartbeat, "We make it through everything, Tugger… Us, our kittens, we m-make it through everything…"

* * *

**Ah, the feels! Don't kill me! **

**Please leave a review! I want to know whether to continue this or not... I have a plot ready, so just give me the word and I shall unveil it! :')**

**Lots of love!**

**Emily **


	2. The Earth Paused in Its Orbit

**Hello! Guys, I'm so sorry for making you wait! I've literally been so busy with performances and college it's literally beyond my control now, and I've really wanted to update this for ages! So as an apology this chapter is a little longer than what most other chapters will be, just so you can have some more drama.;-)**

Thank you for your amazing response for the first chapter! Your reviews made me beyond happy, I didn't think this would take of so well! Shoutouts to these guys: HumanGuineaPig (Guys go check out her deviant-art account, she's amazing!), Jacamondo, Demeterfan, Bombafan, Amelia Valencia, and Bluddy Begh Hid! Please keep up the support!

* * *

**Chapter Two- The Earth Paused in its Orbit**

* * *

Bombalurina had dreamed of the way she'd tell Tugger she was pregnant ever since they'd started trying for kitten's three years ago.

_"Tugger!" Bombalurina grinned excitedly, pulling her mate by the paws practically dancing with anticipation._

_He laughed at her childishness and smirked, "Come on then," He drawled, "What is it? Tell me?"_

_She tutted with a grin and continued to drag him to the back of the Junkyard, the quieter part. She made him sit down on the grass that was over there and meowed playfully as he began to kiss her neck under the moonlight. "You. Are. Beautiful."_

_She pushed his head away and he pouted, feigning annoyance. "Tugger, I need to tell you!"_

_The Maine Coon tried to act as if he didn't know, which he did, she'd been purposefully avoiding him all night, teasing him, he knew just by her smile that it was good news. He played along. He didn't want to admit it himself until he actually heard the words fall from her lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, she gasped as their heads very nearly fell against each others. Sneakily, he leant over and whispered in her ear, "What is it you want to tell me?"_

_"Tugger," She breathed quietly, making him look at her. She rested a paw on either side of his face... "My love, it... It's happened!"_

_The earth paused in its orbit. _

_Before he could even register it he'd let out a cry of glee and was kissing her, holding her, both of them crying tears of elation because it was true. It had happened, it had-_

Standing in the Plains of an unfamiliar tribe at five o'clock in the morning was not the way things were meant to be.

Knowing that her friends were hurt and that their homes destroyed was not how it was meant to be.

Waiting to find out whether Tugger was going to make it through the night was not the way it was supposed to be.

Demeter clung to Bombalurina's paw tightly as the red queen looked on the verge of fainting into oblivion. She was pale, she was shivering, occasionally she'd sway so they'd had to sit her down. After two panic attacks, the crying had stopped, but deep down she knew it wasn't over. She didn't notice anyone else, they were all ghosts to her. Munkustrap was sat with a tearful Jemima in his lap, heart breaking when she asked how 'Uncle Tugger' was, and he knew he couldn't respond. Thank Bast Deuteronomy had left London for the night, thought Munkustrap, he wouldn't have been able to cope with this. A couple of the other Jellicle's were in the Shallot's tribe at this time, waiting for help but they weren't seriously injured, not compared to Tugger.

Time dragged... And dragged...

"We managed to stop the bleeding and we've worked all night fix him back together; even had to produce some artificial flesh and apply it to make sense," The medic explained softly, the nurse was a mystic, and the only way she'd managed to keep Tugger alive was to treat him with mystic techniques, and they were grateful, "He'll be okay, he'll live."

Everyone present gave out huge cries of happiness, gripping to each other tightly. Munkustrap even leant over and kissed Demeter simply out of relief, he hadn't noticed he was crying.

The nurse swallowed, "Oh, but,"

Everyone froze then.

"He... He'll be disfigured from this, and rather badly too. After a couple of years it'll look a lot better, but the scarring is very severe and it won't ever go away, not completely. He's lost..." Then she began to list exactly how disfigured the accident had made Tugger, and everyone listened thinking it impossible, surreal. Demeter felt Bombalurina's grip on her arm tighten. Her eyes were frozen wide in horror.

Eventually, the queen left, telling them that they can go and see him after a couple of hours. The Jellicles were left in silence.

Slowly, Demeter looked over to Bombalurina looking for some clarity but knew there was no way she could understand what her sister was feeling. There was relief, so much relief because he had actually lived through the terrible ordeal. But then, there was this. The Rum Tum Tugger was disfigured for life. Nothing was going to be the same again.

"I just don't-" The words caught in her throat.

Demeter quickly wrapped her arms around her sister, whispering "I'm sorry" into the side of her neck.

That was the tipping point. A tear fell, followed by another, and then by even more. Before Bombalurina knew it her legs caved in underneath her and her weight fell completely on to her sister as she broke into pieces. She sobbed helplessly into her sister's shoulders, trembling vigorously. Whenever Bombalurina had been vulnerable, it had always been Tugger she had gone to. He had always been there to support her ever since they'd first met. Demeter knew Bombalurina would have rather had him in her place but there was no way around that. They had cried like this before when they had been kittens and their parents had gone missing. She knew this feeling pouring out of her sister's chest and it took all of her strength not to break down with her because she had to stay strong.

* * *

Time crawled slowly after the accident, and the tribe couldn't do anything to prevent it. Undying tension and desperation lingered in the air, at first lowering the heart and settling but then eventually becoming annoying, frustrating, shouting until someone let loose on their anger.

At first, the Jellicles had had to run away from the Junkyard whilst the human services were there to help the people involved in the incident. Two women, apparently, who both escaped with minor injuries. The car was well and truly broken, so in the end it was left there in the Junkyard, seeing it had no better place to be, it wasn't even insured. It would have cost time and money to remove it. It was awful for the Jellicles, returning after hours of the tragedy only to see the mess the human's had left, but also that they now had a huge alien object their protruding like a symbol of pain in the middle of their home. Together, they began to help one another, rebuilding nests for those whose home's had collapsed, which was seven of them. Even though not everyone was there, many were at a neighbouring tribe, Shallot, it was called, awaiting help from their own medics who had stepped up to help without any persuasion.

Alonzo had hit his head and lost two days of memory, Electra had broken her leg… But besides that and a few scratches and bruises, everyone had by some miracle escaped properly.

Now, two days later… He was alright, he was _alive, _but the waiting was dreadful. The public had found out about the incident the morning after it had happened, and cats from all over showed up for support. Tugger had lost most of his face in the accident, they had been told; and for such a handsome public figure in the hierarchy of Jellicles they couldn't quite grasp it. The Jellicle's couldn't either. But he was a hero, he had saved Jemima and Bombalurina's life, and the support they were shown was overwhelming. Deuteronomy had told Bombalurina that he guessed most of Europe knew, even though outside London not many cats even knew who they were, it was the mere tragedy of the story that spread like wildfire.

Bombalurina hadn't told anyone that she was pregnant and to be fair, it was the last of her thoughts as her mate's body lay motionless with tubes attached all over him. Munkustrap, Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots hadn't mentioned it to anyone, either. She'd only seen Munkustrap since the incident anyway, she hadn't returned home and they hadn't left for the sake of looking after Electra and Etcetera.

Sitting by Tugger's bedside, waiting, had bought out the strangest reactions from her. She simply sat still clinging onto his paw with no tears left to shed. The cats who had tended to him in this other tribe frowned at her behaviour; they always would have assumed she'd be the sort of cat to make a huge scene. But she just sat there in silence, murmuring sweet nothings and staring at her beloved's broken face knowing that he was still beautiful- her and her kitten's life depended on her mate's recovery.

Bombalurina stared hopelessly at her beloved; he looked as if he were in pain, so weak and she couldn't do anything about it. The shock of what had happened hadn't hit in full and she just was disengaged from everything going on around her. She held onto his paw so tightly, worrying he'd simply disappear if she let go or fell asleep, she wouldn't let herself until she saw him awake, saw that charming smile he always had and the fondness of his eyes he had when he looked at her. She needed to see the pure, unhindered love he always so bountifully displayed. There was an unmistakable look of sheer devotion in her eyes as she gazed at him. He didn't look the same, but that didn't matter.

Bringing Tugger's paw up to her mouth she pressed her lips to it gently then held it under her chin. She prayed for his recovery, and it genuinely bought comfort to her heart that she knew cats all over the country, perhaps even beyond that, were doing the same.

A small knock sounded at the clinic's door and Bombalurina didn't move or flinch, assuming it was just another medic or something. They must have come in every half an hour, she didn't care much for them anymore although she did appreciate the magnitude of effort they were giving.

The door creaked as it opened, and a figure moved into the room. "How are you doing?"

It was Munkustrap.

Bombalurina frowned a little, "Weren't you just here?" She drawled tiredly, not looking over.

Munkustrap paused, and swallowed apprehensively, "No… Five hours ago, at least." His tone sounded worried, she felt him sink beside her and move a paw to her shoulder, "Haven't you slept?"

"Mm." She murmured in a negative response, unmoving.

"Bombalurina, you need to sleep. I'll stay here, I want to stay here."

"No," She replied quietly, lip trembling ever so slightly, "I need to make sure he's okay."

"He is okay. It's going to be another day or so before he wakes up. Please, Bombalurina, sleep."

Her breathe caught in her throat, "I-I can't."

"Have you ate?"

She didn't answer.

Slowly, Munkustrap let out a small sigh, "Bomba, you're pregnant," He murmured, "As much as I understand for your own sake and your kitten's… This isn't healthy."

"Oh Bast," She breathed, eyes lowering, "I hadn't thought about them- And this," Her eyes became glassy with dear so suddenly Munk couldn't pinpoint the moment the penny dropped, "Munk what if I've hurt them! I haven't even had it checked- What if I've killed them?!"

The burst of fear shook Munkustrap to the core, she looked just like Demeter when she became worried. He reached out to her and settled his paws on her cheeks, "Have you felt anything wrong?"

"No…"

"Shall I call someone to check? It's best we're sure"

"I can't leave him alone, Munk." She whispered, tears finally beginning to build up again. "Please don't make me." Finally she swept her head around to his, and her she bore into him a plea, "Don't make me." She repeated. "I'm going to be a terrible mother, I haven't even given them a second thought, I haven't-"

"Bombalurina you are going to be a fabulous parent I don't know why you're doubting it. You jumped in front of that car to save Jemima's life, if you'll do that for your niece, then Bast knows how much you will do for your litter."

She was lapsed into silence, her eyes bearing into Munustrap as if he was a ghost. Her eyes welled up, and suddenly, out of no where, she burst into tears again. She doubled over with a sob of anguish. Munkustrap quickly bent over and pulled his sister-in-law into his arms, holding her close as she let out the depths of her heart into his chest. She clung to him like he was her life support, pulling at small locks of his fur in the way Jemima did at home. His heart broke, it was as if she was grieving over a life being lost when in fact no one had died. Her heart was broken, and Munkustrap knew that although Tugger was going to be alright it'd take a long time for them to recover individually and as a couple. It was the wrong time to bear kittens, absolutely the wrong time now... But, clearly it had happened and they had no choice. The question was if they'd make it through it.

As she lay there she began to rack with painful sobs and before she knew it rivers of tears were running down her cheeks. She didn't understand her feelings; Tugger was alive and she should have been happy. She was happy! It frightened her.

"Let it out, Bomba, don't worry..."

They sat for the next few minutes until her crying finally turned into small gasps and sniffs. Munkustrap gently let his friend go and said, "I know you're feeling weak and that's not like you, but what you're doing at all is so strong and I admire you so much."

"T-Thank you."

"It breaks my heart, too..." Bombalurina stared at him for a moment before looking back over at her mate lovingly, "He's still beautiful, he's still perfect."

"I know, I know." For a while, they sat together and just watched the slow rise and fall of Tugger's chest, until Munkustrap remembered what he had said before.

Munkustrap knitted his brow in thought, before he leant over and kissed her forehead in understanding, she closed her eyes at the touch and let out a rough sob "I'll bring someone to you, you won't even have to leave the room, I promise. And I'll bring you some food, as long as you swear you'll eat it, for your own sake."

After a beat, Bombalurina nodded, "I'll try."

Munkustrap stood to leave the room but paused, "Bomba, you know before- Did Tugger know you were pregnant? Did you get chance to tell him before... Before _it _happened?"

Meekly, she shook her head and a single tear fell from her eye. Munkustrap nodded a little and rolled his strong shoulders back, "Are you going to tell him straight away?"

She frowned, she hadn't considered it. "...Why?"

Munkustrap looked uneasy, it was like her heartbreak was screaming at him violently and making him feel ill. "I'm just considering how he'll take it, I know it's all you wanted but, he's disfigured, considering how all his life people have told him how attractive he is... This is going to hit him harder than most. I just don't know if his emotional well being could cope with the two blows of news at the same time. Because-"

"Because now he won't just be a father, he'll be a father with a clear disability and this changes everything." Bombalurina answered dubiously before he could finish, voice breaking. Munkustap blinked at her.

"In the end it'll be okay, I know it will. Even Tugger was saying the other day that you both make it through anything and everything. You might just have to be careful."

"I love him so much," Bombalurina whispered, "What if... What if he thinks I won't want him anymore because of this?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Tugger wouldn't doubt you."

"Mm" She didn't sound convinced, her paws trembled a little out of exhaustion and the bags under her eyes added countless of years to her real age.

Munkustrap cocked his head a little, "Do you still want him now he's like this?" He asked shyly. He'd never thought she wouldn't, but the press had already begun in their accusations about it and small light in the back of his mind told him to make sure.

She recoiled in offense, "...What? Are you mad? He's still Tugger I'd still be with him happily even if he lost his legs, his mind, if he suddenly decided he'd rather be a queen or even believed in eradicating the mystics I wouldn't leave him. He is my mate and I love him, regardless of whatever shit life throws at us now. And I know he feels exactly the same."

Munkustrap smiled lightly, "That's all I wanted to know, I do believe all that Bomba. But he's my brother, I just needed to make sure."

Bombalurina blinked away some tears and then a ragged laugh left her, "Bast, I'm such a mess. Finally Tugger and I are going to be parents, and then everything's just gone completely wrong. It doesn't make any sense."

"We're all in a mess now." Munkustrap smiled sadly and she giggled again, however the light didn't reach her eyes. He didn't expect it to. "I'll go and get someone to look over you, and bring you some food. Relax, and don't panic, okay?"

She nodded tiredly, yawned and watched him leave. She turned her gaze to her mate again and kissed his paws, starting to murmur, "I love you" over and over as her eyes began to feel heavier and heavier.

Outside the nest, Munkustrap stood for a moment with his eyes closed trying to collect himself. He felt so messed up inside and before when he thought maybe things were going to be alright he was now left with so much doubt it nearly made him feel woozy. Tugger and Bombalurina were meant to be together, but nevertheless he thought this was too far, it nearly broke him when he thought that this had the potential to break them up. This had the potential to break their perfect love story.

He was distracted when Skimbleshanks suddenly appeared, storming over with a hint of vehemence about him. "You won't believe who's just shown up at the Junkyard!"

* * *

**Two Days Later**

Heavy, everything felt heavy. It was like swimming except the compound wasn't thin, it was thick and dense and dark. Trudging through a darkness with no escape and no destination. Suddenly, sound became apparent, no words, no recognisable voices just whispers right in the ear, reaching out, brushing with feathers, calling. Slowly he began to feel his body again, he knew where his arm was, that he had feet, and that his chest was rising and falling. He then remembered who he was; however when he tried to move, he found he couldn't. As if he was stone. He felt like he had pouted in frustration, but he didn't feel his facial muscles move with him. Everything was still heavy. He wanted to see, he needed to see.

Light stabbed through the slits of his eyes and although he tried to wince at the light, his face didn't react. A thirst tugged at his whole body with a wanton need to release. He didn't recognise where he was, and when he tried to speak, he couldn't. He moaned quietly as his body started to ache in the way that he remembered it had.

Something moved beside him and suddenly he felt a thin object protruding at his lips.

"Drink," Instructed the voice softly.

Tugger didn't drink, he didn't know the voice, he couldn't move his head to see the figure. And he didn't know what had just been slid between his lips.

A small chuckle sounded, "Don't worry, it's just a straw, Tug."

Although he didn't want too, his survival instinct kicked into motion and he began to drink through the horrendous object on his lips. The water was good, and he was shocked at how dry his through was… But even more shocked about how different his lips felt pressed together, they didn't feel as even as before.

After a few moments the figure took the item away. Tugger's eyes still barely opened, everything still swam around him. "I shan't stay long," Began the voice, which now Tugger recognised to be that of a tom's, "I just wanted to stay until you wake up and make sure you're okay."

The Rum Tum Tugger searched for his voice but relented in annoyance when he couldn't find it.

"...Tugger there's been an accident, a human car smashed into the Junkyard after two female's had gone on a binger." If Tugger had been in a right mind, he would have sworn he heard a slight humour in the tom's voice. "It destroyed a majority of the nest's including your own, and although many of you lot were injured it's only you that's been out for four days."

Four days? A crash? He couldn't remember a thing! His chest tightened, he swallowed thickly.

"Tugger- No, don't panic. Everything's okay, and so are you. Don't worry." The tom paused, "You've had surgery" –_surgery? For what? _"The car hit you directly after you pushed Bombalurina and Jemima out of the trajectory of the vehicle. You nearly died."

Everything stopped. Bomba was there?! Jemima? Oh Bast, oh Bast, Oh Bast! No! What- What happened?! Suddenly his voice wasn't as hard to find _"Bonbeurh… Bomballeurh..."_

"Bombalurina's okay, Tug. She's here actually, somewhere outside with Deuteronomy trying to sleep for the first time in days; she's been throwing up this morning, all this stress making her ill…

Deuteronomy gave me fifteen minutes to be with you, thank Bast this was the moment you decided to wake up, eh?" He paused as if Tugger was responding, which he wasn't and then continued, "The car quite practically ripped off your left cheek, part of your upper lip and most of your nose; let me know if you can't smell, we weren't sure whether the accident had knocked the sense out of you or not."

He was horrified when he noticed he couldn't.

"You also lost half an ear, but your hearing should be okay. You got off lucky. Some mystics managed to piece together most of your face, but obviously you are, well," Silence flickered for a beat, "Disfigured, the scarring will heal to an extent but once a cat's face gets ripped off you can't expect it to go back easily, I am sorry. But, you didn't die… That's the main thing, by a long shot."

_Disfigured?! How badly? What?_

"And well don't panic when you see the damage for yourself… You had to have your fur cut a lot straight away, so now you're practically bald with no mane." For a moment, the humour reappeared, "It'll all grow back though, soon enough."

Tugger tried to furrow his brow but couldn't. "Wheurh…."

"Your voice will come back as well once the anaesthetic wears off too, your tongue is numb."

"Whoh… Areh… Yoh…"

"Can't you see me?" The voice seemed aggravated. Slowly, Tugger heard movement again and then the figure moved into his line of vision. Tugger's heart stopped and his dreary lifeless eyes gazed back at the ecstatic huge yellow ones before him. The tom smiled sadly, "Hello, brother. Can you see me now? Or is your vision impaired, please say it isn't?"

Tugger's heart was in his throat, he felt like he needed the water again. His heart began to pound against his chest. Macavity watched his brother's panic, and sighed in conclusion, "You can see me now then, okay. Don't worry, Dad gave me permission to be here."

"Wha…"

"I heard about what happened in the news so I travelled down from Norway straight away. Yes, I live in Norway and the news of your accident somehow reached there. Really bad timing, too. I'm a Dad now, as of a week ago; I've just gone and left my partner with pawfuls of kittens, it's dreadful I know." For a moment, Macavity looked both smug and proud; Tugger's head span with millions of questions he didn't have the strength to ask. "I am exiled, and now that you're conscious I'm expected to leave by the end of tonight. But because you're my family, I love you, and the fact that I'm not dangerous anymore meant that I could stay this long at all, and I'm so grateful."

The last time Tugger had seen Macavity he had appeared beyond the point of help: mad, practically useless, with such pent up anger no one could control him anymore. But this was all different now. Macavity looked different. He looked _nice, _he was a father... How much had happened in his older brother's life that he hadn't known about? And the fact that he'd came back to London at all despite his exile just because he was worried about him showed that he cared, they were still family, and Tugger knew that whatever had caused Macavity to 'go mad' before had gone. He was better. He was his brother again.

Before Tugger could register it, a tear escaped his eyes and rolled onto his cheek. It burned. He cried a sound that was like a kitten's plea for help. His whole body tensed and he began to struggle. "Tugger! No, breathe, don't move, breathe slowly, okay?" Macavity reached over quickly, put something in between his paws and then dabbed it gently on the tom's face until the burning subsided into a cold ache. "Shh, breathe, relax and please don't cry." Tugger watched the careful attention Macavity had whist applying the stuff- Bast knows what it was- Onto his cheekbone, since when had his insane older brother became so calm and attentive? "Are you okay?"

Tugger managed to inch his head slightly in something that resembled a nod.

After a moment, the red tom gave Tugger a defeated smile and then reached out for more ointment, pressing it on Tugger's face. It was soothing. Macavity began to talk lightly. "Munkustrap had a field day when I arrived, but Demeter and him got into so many fights over it. She clearly doesn't want me around," He smirked, "It's all in the past, so I just kept out of her way." Macavity smiled lightly and then rested a paw on his brother's arm, carefully avoiding the tubes protruding from them. Footsteps could be heard approaching the doorway slowly as they spoke to someone else, and the whole of his brother's body language suddenly shrank, a look of regret passing across his face. Macavity swallowed and began to speak quickly, as if he knew his time was up, "You're going to be a great father Tug, and don't you question it, by the way. I know this is, well, a load of bull, but you're kitten's will still love you."

Tugger froze. What? He opened his mouth to speak "Whaarh-"

A voice boomed a few feet away cutting Tugger off, and it was so loud it made the Maine Coon feel nauseous. "Macavity, times up! You've had your time now-"

Deuteronomy stopped by the door in horror as he saw the scene before him. At first he looked appalled, disgusted as his eyes burned into his eldest son as if he was committing a terrible act. But it softened the second he noticed Tugger was awake. Deuteronomy tightened his lips like a coil of rope "Macavity, leave. You've gotten what you wanted." His voice shook with emotion.

Macavity rolled his eyes nonchalantly and turned; an expression finally Tugger knew full well was one of Macavity's regular traits. "Thank you for allowing me here, Deuteronomy." His voice was monotone.

Tugger winced, first name terms? Not father or son? Oh, Bast.

Deuteronomy didn't reply and Macavity blinked at his younger brother, "Stay strong for me, won't you? You're still that hot thing you were before-"

"Macavity!"

"I'm leaving!" Hissed Macavity quickly, before looking at his brother yet again and leaning down to whisper in his ear, "If you need me, Munkustrap has my contact details. The old tom isn't keeping me away from you again." He shifted away a little, "I hope your recovery goes well, farewell, brother."

Then he left.

Deuteronomy glowered bitterly as the red tom left. A moment of awkward tension passed, but then Deuteronomy's eyes filled with tears and his expression broke, "Tugger!" He cried, rushing over, "Oh, my dear son, thank Bast you're okay…"

Tugger didn't respond as Deuteronomy fussed over him, he was just frozen. What had Macavity meant? And then he remembered... He remembered Bombalurina's test that morning! Was she pregnant? ...Was she?

* * *

**Later-**

Bombalurina crouched by her mate's side, trying her hardest not to let the tears flow as she gripped his arm. He blinked at her fondly, he could still barely speak and she had to listen as carefully as she could to what he said.

She'd never been happier to see his eyes before then, they were the same eyes. They may have been dull and tired but they were still his, and they still looked at her with love.

"Bombaah," He began, gently he reached out and cupped her face with one of his paws, she closed her eyes in relief.

"Sh, Tugger don't speak unless you need too. I don't want you to tire yourself."

"...Can I seh maahself?"

She froze and moved her head slightly out of his grasp, he watched her recoil and then he knew for certain that it was bad, that it was really very bad, otherwise she wouldn't have been so scared. "Tugger, you're practically bald." She murmured softly, "Let's wait. Once some of your fur has grown back it won't look as bad, I promise. I'll get you a mirror then."

He swallowed, "Hah bad is et?"

She sighed as a lump raised to the top of her throat, "You're still beautiful."

Tugger knew she was avoiding the topic because she didn't want to admit how she really felt. He looked down and then asked her quietly, attempting to change the subject, a question that needed to be asked but he was terribly afraid of. Since Macavity's sudden appearance earlier, he'd thought about what he had said, and he'd made many opinions on it. He had to know. "Bombah, are... Are you pregnahnt?"

The earth paused in it's orbit.

It was not meant to be like this!

Before Bombalurina could register what she was doing, the word "No", had escaped from her lips. No! She hadn't meant to say that! No! No! No! She wanted to correct herself but found she couldn't, the words were locked in her throat like Pandora's box with the potential to cause so much change but no one would try to open it knowing what it would do. How could anyone correct themself from saying _that?! _

She very nearly corrected herself, she opened her mouth to tell him-

Tugger blinked, "Good."

The world certainly stopped moving at that. Bombalurina didn't react facially, but in her head everything was exploding. She had said she wasn't pregnant, and he had said _good! _She wanted to yell at him and call him a heartless bastard but she knew she couldn't. He had every reason to consider this a good thing, and if anything he didn't know the truth.

"We need t' change befoh doing that," Tugger explained, "I couldn't hahve coped with it... We're betteh withaht them for now."

For a moment, he thought he saw a flash of hurt on her face, but then it passed so he ignored it. He held her cheek again and breathed, "I... lorve you."

She tilted her head and kissed his open paw softly, "I love you, too."

It was never meant to be like this.

* * *

**So... Tugger has just announced he doesn't want kittens now? It's a bit late for that, flower! ****By the way, I shall explain Macavity some more, and don't forget that Jenny had an argument with Bombalurina in chapter one!**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please drop of a review! :)**

**I'll try to update soon as I can but with the amount I have to do it might be just before Christmas when I do; I'll try to before then though, I will.:)**

**Love you all! Hope all is well with you:')  
Emily**


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